


Grateful Thanksgiving

by XWingKC



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M, Thanksgiving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:42:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27726995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XWingKC/pseuds/XWingKC
Summary: Unexpected revelations during Thanksgiving.There is discussion of PTSD in here. It focuses on loss of a parent. Be mindful of that if it is a trigger for you.
Relationships: Daniel Jackson/Vala Mal Doran, Samantha "Sam" Carter/Jack O'Neill
Comments: 7
Kudos: 39





	Grateful Thanksgiving

Sam was dancing around the kitchen like a ballerina during her solo. She had kicked everyone out, except the occasional wanderer who came in to ask if she needed help, or for tiny hands to grab food off of the island.

The men were outside in the driveway heating up the peanut oil in the turkey fryer. It was a very cold November day, and all of the men were adorned in winter jackets and toques. Some of the men had already started with the beer. At least one of the men held a can of Sprite in his hand.

Rya’c and Kar’yn had permission to join Teal’c this year on Earth. Teal’c wanted to share the Earth tradition with his newest family member. Rya’c brought their five year old, Ka’lon with them. Ka’lon made Teal’c a very proud grandfather. The boy was growing up way too fast.

Cassie brought her boyfriend with her. Cassie had graduated med school and signed on to a classified job in Nevada. Her job focus is on physiology and how she might try to fix human physiology on planets who have been affected by the Goa’uld. 

Cassie had met her boyfriend on one of the planets she was working on. They found he was also one of Nirrti’s test subjects at one time. But his physiology had changed so much during Nirrti’s lab work that he became resistant to Nirrti’s continued trials. He was basically tossed aside like part of Nirrti’s trash on the planet when she finally left.

Through much work and dedication, Cassie was able to reverse it all. Now she and Bron were living together in North Las Vegas.

Daniel, Vala, and Nyan were out back talking about relics and times past. Vala was snuggled up between Daniel’s legs as he sat upright in the lounger. All three of them were wrapped up in blankets, and were drinking hot chocolate.

Jack had retired the previous year. They kept his house. They decided years ago that they would retire in Colorado. They sold Sam’s house and used the money to build a generous addition to his house. A new, bigger kitchen, a larger laundry room, two more bedrooms with their own shared bathroom, a larger master bathroom, and a deck that wrapped around the whole house in the back.

Sam had only been home for three weeks now. Her retirement paperwork was submitted. She was seeking counseling for her PTSD which was triggered from this last duty assignment. Even though she was surrounded by all of the people in her life that she loved and adored, inside she was running. She was running away from it all at an incredible speed.

She still doesn’t know why it took this last trip home to rattle her cage like it did. Her final voyage home was not supposed to end like it did. In the past she’d been beaten, bruised, tortured and harassed. She’d even been dead before. She was not sure what had triggered her this time.

...

Her ship came under attack as they were exiting a star system after initial reports said the sector was clear. They didn’t even know who attacked them. They were able to jump into hyperspace within seconds of being fired upon. They had destroyed the ship that fired on them.

One of the enemy strikes to the ship sent a feedback loop up through the bridge and through the consoles. She was hit with a bolt of electricity. It had killed her.

The fast thinking of her crew secured the ship first, then got Sam straight to medical. It only took two minutes before they got her heart going again. She was unconscious for two days.

...

Sam dressed up for the day today, hoping that it would boost her spirits. She had on a dark navy blue turtleneck dress that fell to her mid-thigh. She paired it with black tights covering her legs. She had on a pair of short Uggs boots. Her hair was pulled back into a single ponytail. She had on the necklace that Jacen and Gracie picked out for her last year.

As she moved around the kitchen getting the food ready, the noise from inside and outside began to filter to her. Something in those noises made her stop what she was doing. Her hands held the counter, and her eyes focused on the tile backsplash in front of her. 

Her mind took her back to the dreams she had when she was unconscious. The dreams she had yet to discuss with her doctor. The panic set in and she could not move. She could not speak.

Jacen and Ka’lon came running into the kitchen to get some of the finger foods off of the island. They both were about the same age, with Ka’lon being three months older than the twins.

“Hi mommy! We’ll get out as soon as we got foods,” Jacen said. “Here, Ka! Eat it,” Jacen laughed watching Ka’lon eat a carrot.

Ka’lon laughed and grabbed some more carrots and ran back out of the kitchen. Jacen looked at his mother. She wasn’t moving. He walked up to her and pulled on the side of her dress.

“Mommy,” he said quietly and softly. “Mommy, are you OK?” he whispered. She still didn’t move.

Jacen ran outside to find his dad standing around the men and the turkey fryer. He hugged his dad’s leg and looked up to him. 

“Daddy, something is wrong with mommy,” he said, a bit of concern in his voice.

“What’s the matter with her, bud?” Jack asked.

“I don’t know. She won’t talk,” Jacen replied.

Jack looked at the guys and got concerned.

“Can you guys watch the kids?” Jack asked. All of the guys said they would. 

Jack ran inside and went straight to the kitchen. He found Sam standing and staring at nothing. 

“Hey,” he whispered as he approached her. 

This was still all so new for them all. He and Sam only had the one session with the doctor together. The only thing he knew to do was to leave her alone and not touch her right away. Doing so may trigger something else going on inside her mind. 

Cassie came inside and stood in the entrance of the kitchen and saw what was going on.

“Uncle Jack,” she said softly.

Jack spun to look at her, then shook his head and motioned with his hand to leave. He mouthed, “I’m sorry,” to her, but she understood. She quietly left to go tell the others Jack was still with Sam.

Jack turned back to Sam. He leaned up against the counter next to her. He started to very softly sing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star to her. It was almost a whisper. But it was something familiar to Sam, and something that made her happy. Her mother used to sing it to her when she was still alive. 

He saw her hand move on the counter, but he continued to sing. She eventually brought both of her arms down to her sides, but she was still staring off into the backsplash. He kept singing.

She eventually inhaled and let it out. She looked down at the counter top, then moved her eyes in the direction that the singing was coming from. Her eyes didn’t focus at first. It took a few more lines of the chorus for her to finally come out of it and her eyes focused on Jack.

Her eyes widened and she inhaled deep again and took a step back from him like she was scared of something.

“Hey, you doing OK?” he asked quietly.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” she said, getting tears in her eyes.

“It’s OK, Sam,” he whispered back to her.

“Jack I don’t know what to do,” she said softly, the tears falling now. She was looking at him with pained, tearful eyes. “I froze. I didn’t know what I was doing.”

“C’mere,” he said, then took her into his arms and held her as she cried.

She collapsed into his embrace and held him tight. And for only the second time since she’s been home, she cried.

They held each other for a long time. Daniel and Vala came in to check on them, but when they saw the two of them in the kitchen, they turned around and kept everyone out.

After about 10 minutes, her crying quieted down, and she could talk again. 

“I remember,” she whispered in his ear.

“Remember what?” he asked. They both kept their voices to a whisper.

“I remember why I was so scared. The doctor keeps asking me what it was. I remember,” she whispered as she held the back of his head.

She pulled back a little bit so she could see his face. She didn’t let go of him. Her fists were balled into his sweater in a vice-grip. His arms were still holding her around her waist and back.

“Do you want to tell me?” he asked.

With a shaky voice, in nothing more than a whisper, she looked up to him as she spoke. Her tears flowed again as she explained it to him.

“When you were singing to me just now, I knew what it was. I was afraid to leave you all behind. On the ship, I dreamed that my mom left me again, all alone. And then I left you all, and I saw the pain you went through. It was just like what I went through when I was little. It was more than I could take.”

She paused, shaking and crying in his arms some more. A few minutes later she opened up some more.

“I died again, Jack. I can’t leave you like that. It hurt so much when my mom left me. I won’t leave you like that. I can’t leave them. Our babies need their mother,” she said, now almost in hysterics.

He pulled her in tight again and held her. Sam’s cries could be heard by Daniel and Vala, and they looked at each other as they waited in the hallway. 

“Daniel,” Jack said softly. Daniel came into the kitchen and asked what he could do to help.

“I’m going to take her to our room and lay down with her. Can you guys finish the food?”

“Of course, yes, go. Do what you guys have to. We got it,” Daniel said. Vala smiled at Sam and Jack as they walked out of the kitchen and made their way to their bedroom.

Sam kept apologizing to Jack. Jack kept hugging her and telling her it’s OK. She has been through so much in her career. 

“This is completely normal for things like this to happen. Many people in the military have some form of PTSD,” he told her quietly as he held her in their darkened room. “Hell, I may have some myself.” 

“The hardest part of all of this is recognizing something is wrong and then asking for help. You have already started getting the help, Sam. You are doing all the right things,” he said. But she felt she had a long way to go.

“I promise you we will work through this together, as a family. The twins, too. OK?” he whispered in her ear as he held her in their bed.

She shook her head, and squeezed him tight.

“Can you go get the kids and bring them in here, please? We should probably explain what’s wrong with their mommy,” Sam whispered, trying her best to smile.

Jack smiled at her and kissed her forehead. Then he walked out to go get their children for a little family meeting. 

…

Sam said she was a little ashamed of her breakdown. But her children and husband had talked her down from those feelings. Gracie told her it is OK to be sad sometimes. Jacen said he got sad when she was away, which didn’t help right away, but Sam grabbed her two children and held them tight. All three of them told her they love her no matter what.

Thirty minutes later, after the small family conversation and a short nap, the O’Neill family returned to the rest of the gathering of family and friends. Sam was nervous. Everyone greeted her again, and as she tried to apologize to them, each one of them in turn hugged her and told her they loved her. A few tears escaped Sam’s eyes as she hugged the people that have become her family. 

She got her children all set up with plates of food. The twins ate on the floor with Ka’lon by the big windows along the back deck. She sat on the couch with Jack. Everyone else either sat at the table, or they found a spot on the living room floor with the kids, or filled in the chairs. 

Sam looked around at everyone and her heart was full of gratitude. She loved everyone in this room. She knew they’d be there for her no matter what. She noticed that most of the eyes in the room were on her. She welled up with gratitude and love for every one of them at their house.

“Thank you all. I love you all so very much. Thank you,” she said, choking on her words.

A few hours later, Kar’yn, Vala, Nyan, and Daniel cleaned the kitchen from top to bottom. Everyone took to-go plates home with them. Everyone hugged each other and thanked Sam and Jack for a wonderful Thanksgiving. Kar’yn and Rya’c enjoyed the Earth tradition of family and gratitude. They planned to share this tradition with other free Jaffa when they got home.

The four members of the O’Neill family collapsed together on the couch. Sam held Jacen in her lap, Jack held Gracie. The twins looked nothing alike. Sometimes fraternal twins had attributes you could see in the other. But not these two.

Grace had brown hair and brown eyes just like her father. Jacen had dark blonde hair and blue eyes, just like his mother. Jacen was the one who liked science and the stars. Gracie liked gardening and trees. She also loved looking at the stars with her dad.

“General Carter, mommy, do you have to go away again?” Jacen asked. She glanced at Jack and almost started crying again.

“No, baby. Mommy is going to get to stay home now, just like daddy,” Sam said, caressing his hair with her fingers. “Mommy is never leaving again,” she said, hiccoughing back a cry.

“Mommy, tomowow I show you a twee we pwanted in da back. It will make fwowerz in Spwing,” Gracie said with her amazing lisp and her not-quite-yet-formed L’s and R’s.

Sam couldn’t hold back the tears any more. Jack scooted closer to her on the couch, and all four of them snuggled tight.

“Mom, I’m sorry you lost your mom,” Jacen said softly after a few minutes.

The four of them didn’t move, and let Sam cry it out. For being so young, her kids somehow understood. The crying didn’t last long this time. Sam and Jack took their kids back and got them ready for bed. 

For the first time in just over two years, Sam wanted to have a family slumber party. All four of them climbed into the king sized bed, with the two kids in the middle.

“I am so grateful for each of you,” Sam whispered to her family. 

She kissed each of them. When she kissed Jack on the lips, she elicited laughs and giggles from her twins. Nothing made her more happy than to hear her kid’s laughter.

For the first time since her accident on board the Hammond, Sam felt like she was going to be OK. She never realized how long she was holding on to the pain and fear from losing her own mother at such a young age.

Her doctor had told her that trauma manifests itself differently for everyone. Her trigger was her mother dying, and it only manifested now, as a grown adult with her own children. 

Every person deals with it differently, the doctor had told her. 

She was looking forward to her next session with her doctor. Now that she was home for good, she wouldn’t have to hold on to the fear of never coming home to Earth again. She felt she could move on with her therapy and start to heal from years of holding on to that fear. She was grateful for that, and so much more.

That night, Sam sang Twinkle,Twinkle, Little Star to her family as they all snuggled in together. She closed her eyes and imagined her mother singing to her one more time.

**_fin_ **

**Author's Note:**

> Each of us has things inside of us that we have no idea how to deal with sometimes. If you need someone to talk to, please reach out. Call a friend. Call your doctor. I’ve also given some resources here.
> 
> United States National Suicide Prevention Lifeline  
> 800-273-8255
> 
> Global contact numbers for Suicide Prevention  
> [International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP)](https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/Europe/)
> 
> US Veterans Crisis Line  
> 1-800-273-8255, press 1  
> Or Send a text to 838255
> 
> On a totally different topic, I picked names in here that directly relate to other Sci-Fi genres.
> 
> Jacen - Jacen was a twin to Jania in the Star Wars Trilogy books starting with Heir To The Empire by Timothy Zahn. They were Han and Leia’s twins.
> 
> Ka’lon is a name derived from the Kaylon from The Orville. Pronounced the same as the android species.


End file.
